Howto: Date Tattoo Babe!

So I’ve finally convinced you that tattooed ladies are the hottest of the HOT and now you want to date one. How are you going to start dating a tattooed babe? It isn’t like you can just find them anywhere. These are classy crazy ladies, and what if they laugh at you?? Will you be stuck forever, whacking off to modern pinup babe calendars and oggling heavily tattooed girls at car shows?

Hell no, you CAN date a tattooed lady and I’m going to tell you how. First, you’re going to have to suck it up and get a tattoo. No tattooed lady of right mind is going to date a man that has no ink. She wants to date a man who is interested in the same things that she is, someone who understands why she undergoes hours of excruciating pain to decorate her body. You want to demonstrate that you are man enough to get stuck thousands of times by a needle, over and over while you wish you could punch the tattoo artist, but instead do nothing more than joke around about the last huge shit you took and look like you’re loving every minute.

Next, you need to get more tattoos. Yes, really. You don’t want to be the moron swashbuckling around the bar at closing time, trying to pick up a date from the leftovers that didn’t turn up their nose at your miniscule blob of ink that was supposed to say “MOM”. You need anchors on your forearms, naked ladies dancing on your biceps, and an enormous sailing ship stretched over your chest. This will show your potential date that you are man enough to protect her in times of need, that you have even more ink than she does, and therefore you are still a strong provider and protector!!

Finally, you’ve got to inject yourself into the tattoo culture. You’ll be spending hours under the needle so you’ll already be hanging around tattoo shops and making a show of walking around with no shirt on, smeared in vaseline, and taking a smoke break. (Just for a smoke of course, NOT because you need a break!) Other places you’ll find decorated women is at the dingy pub where all the car freaks hang out. Anywhere you find teddy boys and vintage car dudes, you’re going to find scores of rockabilly chicks and tattooed hotties. Go to the latest rockabilly show, hit the car clubs, and get a page on My Space to show everyone pics of your new tattoos.

Even better than all that, just check out the latest dating sites for tattooed singles. You’ll find that tattooed people like to hang together and they do it online as well. Tattooed people flock to lesser known spaces like Alternative Date Link and date amongst their own. Why waste time on other well known dating sites when all they’ve got are a bunch of fake profiles packed with pornstars? Fuck the bullshit, hit a real site and start dating.